Emotional synchronization

How can we improve public speaking in front of a group? This can be a very challenging exercise, especially when facing people who aren’t listening, who talk among themselves, or from whom we perceive no feedback—no validation of their interest in what we’re offering. How can we work to spark our audience’s interest in what we’re about to say? How can we generate initial interest and sustain it without letting it fade?

Concrete Method of Emotional Synchronization

There are, of course, multiple factors that engage an audience. As a speaker, I’ll focus here on one factor among many, based on extensive personal experience, which I call emotional synchronization. I’ll concentrate on the opening moment because this factor is particularly effective at the start of a lecture, class, or presentation. It remains active throughout, but other, more narrative factors take over later—perhaps more so than this one after the speech begins.

Here’s the principle: We’re standing before a group to deliver a lecture, a lesson, a presentation—a one-way communication.

I suggest we position ourselves in front of the audience and adopt the following mindset:
“I have no good reason to impose my perspective on these people. There’s no reason why I should be speaking to them rather than them speaking to me. I won’t speak. I choose not to speak because they haven’t asked me to, so there’s no point in me addressing them.”

I practice this method myself. We don’t have to speak. We wait, convinced by this idea that we have nothing to say to these people.

This is slightly unsettling and destabilizing because it creates an unusual moment of silence. Everyone wonders what’s happening. Even if this moment lasts only 15 seconds, it can stretch to 30 seconds, even a minute—rarely longer.

What happens in that moment? What unfolds is what I call emotional synchronization. Every individual present starts questioning. Some may still chat among themselves, but you’re there, standing before them (sitting behind a desk, which I strongly discourage, as it creates a physical and symbolic barrier—but that’s another topic).

Everyone knows the rules: you are the one supposed to speak. Yet, you don’t start. So, a shared emotion—though experienced differently by each—spreads through the group, whether small or large.

Since everyone knows the rules, this emotion creates a legitimate expectation: that you’ll begin. But because you’ve decided not to speak—because the decision doesn’t come from you—at some point, you’ll feel the request emanating from the audience.

It’s never put into words because this moment of synchronization can be brief. But it must last long enough for you to perceive this energetic demand, this silent invitation to offer them your words.

This request can only arise if we initially decided not to speak. Had we intended to speak from the start, there would have been no space for it. Thus, the external rule (“the speaker must speak”) is internalized by each person. It’s the group, as a whole, that decides to internalize this rule and initiate the speech.

Behind the Scenes

This approach could be described as a choice of deep listening—not to people’s words, but to their presence, their expectation. Listening isn’t just verbal; it’s attention to the other. This synchronization moment is also when people feel heard, when they understand they have a place in the dynamic—that this speech will happen for them, not for its own sake.

This is about empathy: we don’t impose a monologue without considering them. We put ourselves in their shoes by leaving room for nonverbal, emotional, energetic expression—both personal and collective.

For this synchronization to endure, it’s best not to have a fully scripted speech but rather notes on key points, allowing the path to unfold through listening. We’ll continuously resynchronize with the group’s expectations, however subtle. We’ll cover all planned topics, but the journey will be co-constructed with what we sense from the audience.

The Difficulty, the Paradox, and Unconditionality

Often, the audience seems unresponsive. Some nap, others chat, and we desperately lack feedback. Yet, they’re under no obligation to react. They receive and process in their own way. Even those who seem inattentive absorb what they choose.

I speak of listening, yet we receive very few signals from the audience. So how do we listen to them? That’s why I use the term emotional synchronization. It’s about tuning into something deeper—what I call energy—beyond visible cues. We choose to remain open and receptive, even without validation.

This openness must remain unconditional. We ask for nothing; we simply are, capable of receiving and enabling others to ask (even silently). What they receive must always stem from their free will. If they feel forced, they’ll shut down.